i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
