ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
