Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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