i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
