no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
