then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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