I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
