i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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