all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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