Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
