It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
