You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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