i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
