I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
