I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
