in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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