Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
