I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
