You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
