Christians are straight up FREAKS
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
