Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
