i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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