I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize