I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just had sex on a roof
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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