She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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