So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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