This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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