id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
