By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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