Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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