hotel room ftw
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
