My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I am mentally ready for anal.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
