Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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