Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your cock deserves a montage
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
