He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
