she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
