You're completely useless in the revolution.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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