Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
