Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
