I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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