Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize