Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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