I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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