I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize