I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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