She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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