Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
