Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
