Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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