Well douche your snatch and let's go!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Barsexuality is the new black.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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