I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
