so let's talk penis.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
