You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
