I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
