I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
