so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
and she was petting her beer can
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
