worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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