Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize