spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its about making memories worth repressing
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
