do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
