Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
