Where is the hickey?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
