we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
