it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
