I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
