i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
How does one acquire holy water?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
