She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
