Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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