i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
