K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
