Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
