What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
