Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
