So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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