she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
